Expert Sleep Coaching for Children: Tips from Julie Mallon

Julie Mallon, Founder and Senior Sleep Consultant at Nurture 2 Sleep

This week, our Co-Founder Marilena had the pleasure of meeting Julie Mallon, Founder and Senior Sleep Consultant at Nurture 2 Sleep. With over 30 years of experience as a nurse, midwife, and sleep coach, Julie’s unique background, blending health, psychology, and sleep science, has helped countless families establish healthy sleep routines for their children. In this Q&A, Julie shares insights into sleep coaching for children, the difference between sleep training and sleep coaching, and the importance of understanding a child’s individual needs. 

Here’s the conversation:

Q: Could you start by explaining what a Sleep Consultant does and how they can support families in improving their children’s sleep habits?

A: The term “sleep consultant” is interesting because it’s not well-regulated. My background includes health visiting, child psychology, child development, sleep, and nutrition. As a midwife, I’ve studied and practiced for years, which helps me approach sleep holistically. Sleep isn’t isolated; we need to look at the broader picture, including a child’s development and other factors like nutrition.

There are neuroscientists and sleep specialists in the U.S. who feel the market is not well-controlled. I’ve seen firsthand the negative impact when someone labels themselves as a sleep consultant without proper qualifications, so it’s important to do your research before choosing to work with someone.

Q: There’s a lot of talk about sleep training. Can you explain the difference between sleep training and sleep coaching?

A: I make a clear distinction: I focus on sleep coaching, not sleep training. Sleep training doesn’t give children a voice, while sleep coaching involves observing a child’s behavior and working with them. Change is hard, and we have to support children through the process. Sleep coaching is about helping the child manage changes rather than imposing something rigid on them. I involve the child in the process by observing their readiness and guiding them along the way.

There is a famous quote by Benjamin Franklin which I absolutely love, and it says, ‘Tell me, I forget, teach me, and I remember, involve me and I learn,’ I use this in my practice.

Q: When should parents start thinking about working with a sleep consultant?

A: Ideally, parents should think about sleep even before the baby is born. We know so much more about sleep from a scientific perspective now than ever before. I often tell parents to consider sleep as part of their antenatal preparation. Babies have different temperaments, and sleepless nights are inevitable, but having an idea about sleep can reduce the pressure later on.

Once the baby is around 8-12 weeks old, we can start sleep shaping, where we help the parent recognize the child’s sleep patterns, their awake windows, and the relationship between sleep and nutrition. It’s not full sleep coaching at this stage; it’s more about guiding parents to gently shape their child’s sleep habits. By about six months, babies are there and we can start working with them on sleep coaching, but not before that. That’s not to say that I haven’t worked with babies younger, but it very much depends on this unique individual, what the circumstances are at home, and how informed the parents are.

Q: What do you say to parents who have already tried cry-it-out methods or other more rigid approaches? Can these be reversed?

A: Yes, definitely. I’ve had parents come to me after trying cry-it-out methods, and we can certainly work to unlearn that approach. Neuroscience tells us that it takes 10-14 days to change a behavior. Sleep is a learned behavior, like learning to ride a bike or drive a car; you don’t forget how to do that, we are just building new pathways. We build that within those 10 to 14 days for our children, which are then encoded, and they will be there forever.

With cry-it-out, the child isn’t learning a skill—they’re just giving up. The key is consistency and predictability over those 10-14 days, allowing the child to learn new sleep habits in a gentle, supportive way.

Q: What are the top sleep challenges families face after returning from holidays?

A: After a holiday, there is something we often don’t think about as parents. Children miss the constant presence of family and the fun of being together. They’ve spent the summer with mummy and daddy all day, every day, and suddenly they are separated from them, and we, as parents, just expect them to slip back in and accept that transition. The truth is, they are really missing you.

Sleep is about separation—separating from the day, from parents—and this can be difficult after a holiday when they’ve had so much time with you. I recommend easing them back into a routine by being gentle but consistent. You might let go of strict bedtime rules for a few days, but keep the bedtime routine the same. Maybe for the first few days, you’ll allow them to have an extra book at bedtime, or an extra activity but then explain to them, we can do this for a few days but we can’t keep doing that, otherwise you’ll be too tired for school the next morning. This helps children feel secure while transitioning back into their normal schedule.

Q: So how can parents help children transition back into routine after a holiday?

A: Start preparing a few days before returning from holiday. Gradually reintroduce the bedtime schedule by bringing it forward in small increments, maybe 15 minutes per day—we call that bedtime fading. Maintain the bedtime routine because that consistency helps children feel secure, it’s children’s GPS, they love to know what comes next.

Another important thing is to always wake them up at the usual time for school, even if they’ve gone to bed a bit later. This helps prevent what we call “social jetlag,” where the child’s body clock is still in holiday mode, and they can’t concentrate at school or focus on what they are supposed to be doing, often leading to a meltdown.

Which takes me to another important point: a lot of the time, our children’s behaviors are telling us that there is an unmet need, and that unmet need is often either that they need attention or help. Something I often recommend to parents, especially with children aged four and above, is to ask them three questions before bed: What was the worst thing about your day? What was the best thing? And what are you looking forward to tomorrow? What’s important here is that there is an exchange, you get to learn things about their day, understand them better and identify the source of any underlying furstration… and they also get to understand you better too.

Q: Can you tell us about the impact of screen time on sleep?

A: Screen time can be a major disruptor of sleep, especially the blue light emitted by screens. This light tricks the brain into thinking it’s still daytime, which delays the release of melatonin, the hormone that helps us sleep. I recommend limiting screen time at least one to two hours before bed.

It’s also important to consider what children are watching—some content can be overstimulating, causing them to ruminate and making it harder to fall asleep. There’s more and more research showing us how damaging the screen is. Some very recent research coming out of the UK shows us that when children have extended use of the screen, and most do now because it’s being used as a tool in school, it’s causing a thinning of the prefrontal cortex, which is so damaging.

Sleep is vital for everyone, but particularly for children. There’s some recent research that just came out that studied over 3,000 children and found that when children get 11 more minutes of sleep per night for one week, these 11 minutes will take them from a B grade to an A grade. The results are staggering.

Q: Let’s shift the discussion a little now to talk about night terrors and nightmares. What are they and how can parents manage these?

A: Night terrors usually occur in the first half of the night, during deep sleep. The child won’t even remember the event, so it’s actually more distressing for the parents. How to manage them? You don’t need to wake the child; in fact, often it will be impossible to wake them. Just make sure they’re safe.

The disruption of a child’s sleep is much greater from a nightmare than it is from a night terror. Night terrors don’t disrupt their sleep at all. Nightmares, on the other hand, happen later in the night, closer to morning, and are often linked to an event that has happened or perhaps something they have seen (or watched). If your child has predictable night terrors, there is one thing you can try, which is called “wake-to-sleep,” which involves gently waking them 30 minutes before the night terror usually occurs.

Other things that can often bring on night terrors are things like urine in the bladder, so always keep an eye on food and fluid intake and reduce it starting at 4 pm.

Q: How does food impact sleep, particularly before bedtime?

A: What children eat can definitely affect their sleep. A high-carbohydrate, low-protein meal is ideal before bed, as protein can stimulate the brain. Foods like salmon, yogurt, and cherries naturally contain substances that support melatonin production. It’s important not to feed children too late in the evening—ideally, their last meal should be between 5:30 and 6:00 pm if bedtime is around 7:00 pm. This gives their body time to digest and prepare for sleep.

Q: When should parents consider sleep issues as a sign of a bigger problem?

A: The most important question is how the child is falling asleep. If they’re not falling asleep independently, they’ll likely have trouble staying asleep through the night. If they wake up still feeling tired despite a full night’s sleep, there could be an underlying issue that needs to be addressed.

A child should ideally be falling asleep without a parent present in the room—this shows they’ve learned the skills necessary for independent sleep. And they should always be sleeping in a dark room, cave-like conditions. This is so important because melatonin can only be produced in the dark. If children are frightened, they you can give them a little night light but tell them that you will leave it on until they fall asleep and then you will turn it off. Sometimes I’ll tell parents to take the children to the shop and buy them a little torch, again, this is about building autonomy. Yes, they will play with the torch for the first few days, but soon they will lose interest and turn it off when they are ready to sleep.

Q: How can cultural differences influence what parents think about sleep? And what about multicultural families?

A: I see a lot of multicultural families, and I think it’s often a lack of knowledge about sleep and its impacts. For example, there is a study that shows when a group of healthy young adults were sleep-deprived for a week, sleeping only 5 hours a night, and their blood was tested, they were pre-diabetic. Now we know that diabetes in this region is off the scale, at all ages, so culturally, a big contributor to this is the lack of adequate sleep.

Q: Should we ever give melatonin to children?

A: No, never. Melatonin is considered an endocrine disruptor, working similarly to the contraceptive pill. When you give melatonin to a child (or even an adult), the brain reduces its natural production of the hormone. Studies by the FDA show that melatonin supplements often contain much higher doses than stated on the label, with as much as 83% more than advertised. Even adults should avoid taking it, especially over a long period. If necessary, a plant-based version is better than a synthetic one.

Instead, there are natural ways to improve sleep:

• Diet: Foods like salmon (rich in tryptophan), honey (only for children above 1 year old), yogurt, and cherries can help improve sleep.
• Bedtime routine: Minimize screen time before bed and create a calming routine.
• Physical activity: Ensure children, especially boys, get enough daily exercise to help sync their emotional and physical energy for better sleep.

To finish, I would like to talk about supplements. Because food doesn’t contain the same nutrients nowadays as it used to, one of the most important supplements for sleep is magnesium because it can control over 300 chemical reactions in the body. If you are deficient, it will impact your sleep. Magnesium relaxes the central nervous system and there are lots of great creams or even bath salts that contain magnesium you can add to your bedtime routine. Another important one is vitamin D; we are not getting enough of it in this region. Children should get out into the sun in the early hours of the morning and get some natural vitamin D.

Julie’s insights into sleep coaching and the importance of nurturing healthy sleep habits provide a wealth of knowledge for parents navigating sleep challenges. From understanding sleep shaping to addressing night terrors, Julie emphasizes the need for a holistic, child-centered approach. Whether you’re a new parent or facing sleep disruptions with older children, it’s clear that fostering good sleep habits can have long-lasting benefits.

For more information on Julie’s work or to consult with her directly, visit Nurture 2 Sleep. Julie’s expertise and compassionate approach make her a trusted guide in the journey to better sleep for families in the UAE and beyond. Families can book a discovery call with Julie to understand more about her services before selecting the package that suits their individual requirements.

For more parenting insights, check out Marilena’s article on First Day of School: A Parent’s Emotional Journey here.